Top Ten Things I Learned From My Massive Life-Changing Clearout

Now that my clear out is officially done, I wanted to share some of the things I learned. We finally "exchanged" on our house Monday, so will be moving into our new home in less than a month. I cannot believe that I actually finished this before moving, but wonders never cease.

10. You have no idea how much lurks hidden within your home. I am still getting over the shock of the bathroom clear out in which I believe my photo composition 'Bathroom Deconstructed' says it all:

9. My fascination with living in another country started young. Not only did I have two foreign pen pals (in Germany and Ireland), but I kept all the postcards sent to me from my Grandmother and Great Aunt Ruth & Uncle Rolland when they started taking trips to far off places. I also saved all the little dolls from different countries that Ruth brought back for me. The three weeks I spent in France when I was 17 was a major deal -- with its own scrapbook and itemized list of every franc I spent (I showed this to the Hub and he asked what happened to this frugal teenager?).

8. I now think twice, or even many more times about bringing things into our home. When I went to Krakow for the weekend I kept wanting to buy a souvenir. But then I would consider whether I really needed an object to remember my time there. I took a gazillion photos, like usual, anyway. I am especially skeptical of anything free:

7. Being neat is much easier when you have chosen the "right" number of belongings for you. I no longer feel controlled or overwhelmed by my possessions. And I can spend the extra time I have pruning around the edges -- I immediately know when it's not working out anymore between me and a pair of shoes.

6. Music used to be a big part of my life. It's kind of fallen by the wayside, so this was particularly informative.

5. When a category of items that you're clearing out gets tough, just break it down further. A good life lesson as well?

4. Buying anything -- particularly clothes -- is much easier. When you know what you have, what you need becomes much more clear. And if you need something, the universe will deliver it. (O.K., you might also need a job to pay for it or at least a credit card.)

3. I loved to record things. I was a prolific letter and journal writer. I had a bit of peripheral interest in art, but photography was my main visual interest and the number of photos taken tended to be inversely correlated with how much journaling I was doing at the time.

2. The majority of possessions shouldn't live squirreled away somewhere. If you have a possession because it gives you joy, then you should be able to see it and experience that joy.

1. Writing was clearly my greatest passion. It's so pervasive in my childhood belongings that I felt knocked over by it at times. And the clear out has given me space to consider this a little more seriously.

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The Great Mind-Body Connection

With the name of my blog, I feel like this is an important post, and one I've been thinking about writing for almost a year now, but wasn't sure how to approach it. If you know me, or have been reading this blog for a while, you will be aware that over the past 10 years or so I have suffered with all sorts of chronic pain. Neck pain, back pain, wrist pain and sometimes even knee pain. And for many years I saw a great physio -- Super Physio -- who helped me get through some really dark times.

At this point in my life, I've probably spent months collectively doing physio exercises and taken so much ibuprofen (and sometimes stronger anti-inflammatories) that I can't imagine not having a bottle of 500 tablets from the U.S. sitting in our medicine cabinet at all times. I've stopped doing certain types of exercises and everyone is always saying things to me like, "Well, you need to be careful about your back." It's my own fault -- I'm the one who told them how injured I was.

Then sometime last year when I was having the umpteenth neck flare up, finding myself again on Super Physio's bench, I started wondering what was really going on. Why did I keep injuring myself in new places, when I hadn't even done anything? How does one sprain one's wrists sitting at a desk typing anyway?

My neck was in agony in the spring of last year. I had taken a four-hour flight to Turkey for a conference that got cancelled and had to turn around the next day and take the trip straight back, while my neck was in spasm the entire time. I started feeling like my body wasn't capable of living a normal life -- why were other people able to sit on long-haul flights or type at their desks without being in constant pain? And it was almost as if my physio confirmed my suspicions that there was a missing link. She said to me at one session that although my muscles were tight, my posture was fine and everything was in the right place. She started asking me about what else was going on in my life. What was stressing me out?

For months I was very upset. I knew that there was something else going on, but how could I fix it? You can't just zap away the ups and downs of everyday life. And who would want to? I have a challenging job, but I don't want anything less. I want to be able to handle an interesting, stressful life.

Then one day I was reading of my favorite bloggers (Alice Bradley) and she happened to write a post that mentioned how she suffers with TMS, or tension myositis syndrome. It's a psychosomatic illness -- not accepted by the mainstream medical profession, mind you -- that causes chronic back, neck and limb pain. John Sarno M.D., a physician and professor of rehabilitation at New York University School of Medicine, is the originator of the diagnosis of this syndrome.

I was fascinated. I went out straight away and bought his book, called the The Mindbody Prescription. And I couldn't believe what I was reading -- it was almost as if the book described what I was dealing with on a daily basis, as if it was written for me. The essence of his theory is that there are people with certain personality traits who tend to internalize and repress emotional pain unconsciously. And the chronic pain is the mind's way of distracting the person from uncovering this. It's essentially a coping mechanism. And the beauty of it? You don't need to do anything other than be aware of it to stop the cycle (well, there's a bit more to it, but not really much more).

The interesting thing about Sarno's theory is that he believes it could extend to other chronic conditions that conventional medicine isn't able to treat effectively, including eczema, migraines, irritable bowel syndrome and ulcers. Thing is, if you have any chronic pain or syndrome that doctors haven't been able to help you with, it's worth a read, because there's nothing really to lose apart from the 10 quid ($15) price of the book.

I can honestly say that this theory was the missing link for me. I have been processing this information over the past year --  I have now read two books on it -- and have slowly gotten rid of all my crutches, including my physio exercises, my bottles of ibuprofen and that lovely smelling deep heat. And I've started exercising like a normal person again. We were in Croatia this summer and went kayaking one day. I would have never done that a few years ago because I would have been afraid of hurting my back or neck. But I was fine. And I can honestly say that I'm pain free now. I get small flare ups here and there, but they are now just warning signs for me: a good indication that I'm stressed or upset about something. And so I just tell the pain to go away and face the real problem, which seems much more healthy for my mind and body.

For the background story on my struggle with chronic pain and a bit more detail, read The Whole Story here.

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Heading For The Finish Line

Nearly a year ago, I participated in NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month, in an attempt to write a short novel, or 50,000 words in one month. I didn't finish, but gave it the old college try, writing 33,637 words in the end.

But then... nothing. I meant to finish in the following months, but literally closed my laptop that day and didn't even go back to read my attempt. I was too terrified of how bad it actually was. And then life got busy. We decided to try to buy a house and sell our flat (a process that is still ongoing) and as part of that, I embarked on my massive clear out project.

Funny enough, two things I learned about myself during the clear out are 1) I was a prolific writer in my early and teen years but 2) never finished anything. Unless I had to. So all writing that was part of school assignments was completed, while anything I did on my own was begun with enthusiasm, but left languishing.

Journaling, I was better at, but I think my ability to stick to it was that I reasoned no one would ever see it and so there was very little fear of writing badly.

So in a literal and metaphorical sense, I've decided to start finishing things. I'm brushing the fear away for that child in me and two weeks ago I read all 33,637 words of my novel attempt. It was excruciating at times (well, most of the time), but also really interesting. I started out packing in so much information to each sentence and paragraph, like my journalism training would tell me to, but somewhere towards the end it starts to flow a little better and tell a story. There were parts that were so bad I laughed out loud. But there were also sentences or even paragraphs where I thought: well, that's not so bad.

The good news is at least I see where it needs a major editing overhaul -- particularly at the beginning. What I didn't know as a child, but I now know after years of professional (albeit factual financial) writing, is that all first drafts are bad. So if you can see through that then maybe it's worth working to finish something. Also, I am curious to see how I bring it to the ending I have in mind. So for those of you who have asked me if you can read it, be careful what you offer, as it is definitely going to need a good editor.

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