Guilt And Marshmallows

I have a new found respect for the French since last week. Their radio stations may be crap, but when it comes to a healthy respect for food and pleasure, they seem to have all the answers.

On our first night in France (before we arrived at the farmhouse) we stayed in a hotel that was quite plush. There was a bar area on which two very colorful jars of candy were situated – one with pastel green, pink and white marshmallows and the other with jelly bean-type sweets.

Here are the lovely fluffy marshmallows:

Not so strange. But, notice how next to the jar there was a little sign. This explained how marshmallows are actually good for digestion and can help to prevent inflammation of the mouth and throat. I kid you not. I felt another photo snap might be necessary as evidence.

I think this sheds some light on why the French seems to have fewer food issues than people living in Anglo-Saxon countries. Essentially, from what I can tell, the French don't really do guilt. And the marshmallow sign was a clear manifestation of this. They know that everyone feels like having something sweet every once in a while (even a marshmallow!), but they don't gnash their teeth over how 'bad' they've been and feel guilty. No, instead they justify it by creating some pseudo-scientific reason why it was actually good for them. Brilliant. (Not that I generally agree with pseudo science, but I'll make an exception here.)

Everywhere we went in France people were sitting around together eating and drinking. Although food is clearly very important and treasured it seemed secondary to whatever else they were talking about. They weren't sitting there mulling over what they should eat, should they be 'good' or 'bad' (this kind of food moralizing drives me nuts, click here to read my posting about food being the new religion). They just seemed to eat really naturally and moderately, without shying away from very high-fat food (just the opposite in fact).

It's not like they are all stick insects. They looked pretty normal – a variety of different body types – and more importantly, in my opinion, they seemed comfortable in their own skin. They were also very well-groomed no matter their size or shape, clearly taking much pride in their appearance.

As Lucy Wadham in her memoir The Secret Life of France writes, "Because there is no sin attached either to the pleasure of sex or the pleasure of food, overeating tends not to be a manifestation of self-loathing. Put simply, if your body is a temple for the pursuit of guilt-free sexual pleasures, you're less likely to want to trash it."

I couldn't have said it better myself. We Anglo-Saxons could learn something from the French. Marshmallow anyone?

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Food Is The New Religion

I am certain that food is the new morality. Now that people are no longer afraid of burning in hell, poor food choice has become the new sin. Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of hearing people say they're being 'good' or 'bad' when deciding what to eat. Or that euphemism for good – 'healthy'. I often find myself saying out loud to people, "you know, food is not a moral choice."

Perhaps we've lost sight of the importance of a nice or interesting person – what's important now is appearance. This is what Paul Campos in The Diet Myth, calls the Bimbo Culture. No wonder we're all so afraid of putting on a few extra pounds.

I'm not pretending to be somehow impervious to the pressures of our modern media to look good – which is why I ended up flirting (and briefly getting involved with) the idea of dieting a few years ago.

When I started my physio work, I had to stop exercising entirely, except for some light walking. If certain muscle groups in your body are stronger than they should be, and others are too weak, if you do a lot of strenuous exercise, that's never going to change. The too-strong muscles will never atrophy and the weak muscles will never grow stronger.

Not that I was a big exerciser, but I went to the gym maybe a few times a week. Still, this abrupt exercise halt unfortunately coincided with terrifying chronic pain, the stress of a new job and hitting the big 3-0. I was definitely eating a lot of pizza to keep my spirits up. Needless to say, the pounds started to creep on.

I wish I had been easier on myself then. But no, I was completely wrecked by that excess five to seven pounds (shock horror!). I started counting calories and subsequently went berserk. I couldn't stop thinking about food; I was hungry all the time and guess what? I wasn't able to lose those extra pounds. Even better, when I stopped the craziness, I gained about seven more.

What happened to me was intriguing. Why had I completely failed at this dieting thing? I started doing some research. Eventually I ended up stumbling on a book by Geneeth Roth called When Food Is Love, and it introduced me to the idea of intuitive eating. It also screwed my head back on straight about food and my relationship with it.

In case you're not familiar, intuitive eating is the name for eating by responding to hunger and fullness cues. Eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full. Eat what your body is asking you for and not what your parents tell you to or what's prescribed by some diet in a magazine.

I'm a huge fan. It really fits into my philosophy of being your own expert. Instead of putting food into 'good' and 'bad' camps, everything is allowed, nothing is forbidden. The idea is that once you are freed from these concepts, you begin to eat a healthy range of foods without feeling deprived or overeating. Mind you, a lot of people are very uncomfortable with the concept of intuitive eating. This makes me even surer that food is the new religion. Even writing about it I feel like a heretic.

There still hasn't been any substantial research on whether or not this method of eating works for weight loss. But from my personal experience, dieting doesn't either. However, eating intuitively isn't a quick fix, it's a long-term attitude change. It also involves taking a good look at yourself and how you relate to food and that often is really tough (there's probably a lot of material here to blog on). I've been experimenting with it for about a year now.

In case you were wondering, I haven't lost the extra weight yet. Who knows if I ever will? But my healthy relationship with food is returning. And honestly, I'd prefer to keep the extra poundage if it reminds me not to go back to the world of dieting.

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