Showing posts with label procrastination. Show all posts
Showing posts with label procrastination. Show all posts

Done!

I had an editor in the early part of my career who would get things done really fast. You would send him a story for editing, and in a flash it would be back in your inbox, with the body of the text saying "Done!"


Or he may have just used a period (in British English, a full-stop). Or maybe there wasn't any punctuation at all, just: "Done"

But no matter what, that man was efficient. And at the time, the opposite of me -- a chronic procrastinator.

I'm less of a procrastinator now, but I still am constantly looking for ways to motivate myself to just get things done sooner rather than later, a constant challenge for me. And probably part of the reason I've always been a to-do list maker. Far easier to make lists of things to do, than actually do them! But then they would make me depressed about how much I have to do. So instead, I've started keeping a "Done" list.

How much better is it to think about all that you've actually accomplished, instead of all you still have to do? Because the list of things one has to do -- or wants to do -- never really gets shorter, it's much more satisfying to see what you have accomplished during the day. You can also add those things that cropped up which you didn't know you'd have to do, and even better, you can also put fun or really rewarding things on the list that you did.

I really like sitting down at the end of the day and jotting down what got done (although to be fair, I have always been a diarist, so this may not be for everyone). I keep my lists in a nice notebook. It's kind of my version of a bullet journal -- literally -- bullet points about my day. I keep everything together too -- no separation between work and home life, as that would be too complicated.

This also helps me to practice gratitude. We're often so caught up with all we have to do, all there is we haven't done in life, and all that we think we need, or want. There are a million ways to be unhappy and there are a million things to feel inadequate about. But I think that there's only one way to be truly happy: to be grateful for what you have already -- and to feel like you have just enough.

For those who love the nitty gritty detail, I do still have to keep a sort of list of reminders of what does need to get done unfortunately. Just because I can't possibly remember everything I'm working on. I have an ongoing list of projects and reminders and each morning I look at that and jot down what in particularly needs to get done that day on a sticky note. Then I use that note to help me remember everything I did. (So I suppose I technically still have a to-do list. But it doesn't make me feel bad anymore because I know it will eventually become part of my "Done" list.)

I have been meaning to write this post for ages, and was annoyed with myself for not doing it sooner when I found a very similar article on Apartment Therapy recently -- and strangely written by someone called Taryn! And then on Gretchen Rubin's podcast it was also mentioned just this last week -- they called it a "Ta Dah!" list though. That seemed a little grand for me. I guess it's not a bad idea if some other people are doing it too. Either great minds think alike... or fools seldom differ.

Do you use a to-do list or something of the sort? Have you tried making a "Done" list?

Photo credit: Day 092/366 - To Do List via photopin (license)
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It's That Time Again...

That's right, with 2015 drawing to a close this week, it's time again to discuss New Year's resolutions. 

Last year my mantra was "more of the same" with a pledge to keep up some good habits I had already started -- mainly writing and eliminating procrastination. But I also wanted to get my U.K. driving license. 

I didn't accomplish the last part, but hey, I at least passed the theory test, so I'm getting there. 

And I think I get a "not bad" for the other two, with finishing the first draft of my first book. I definitely had to squash the ugly head of procrastination to get that done. 

This year I'm going back to brass tacks. My New Year's resolution concerns exercise. 

I was having lunch with a friend a while ago and I admitted to her that I wasn't exercising much and didn't really want to at the moment. 

"But you'll have to get back to it, at some point, of course," she said, with authority.

For some reason this made me even more defiant in not wanting to get back into a regular exercise routine. I think what's been bugging me is our culture's obsession with exercise linked to weight loss and thinness and the way that some people view it as a necessarily evil or a punishment. I want to exercise for the right reasons -- to feel better and live a healthier life. I want it to be a routine that I like and and can manage with full-time work and the other things I love in life, including all the time I've recently carved out for my non-work-related writing. 

I hate to admit it, but the truth is that I've actually been happier (and have weirdly lost weight) not trying to force myself into some sort of exercise routine that I think I should be doing. So I guess on some level, I'm afraid that exercising will make me less happy, not more

For the record, I do walk about 20 minutes a day (to the train station and back) and once a week do some basic core exercises my physio taught me, so it's not like I'm doing nothing. But ideally I'd like to be a little stronger, and a little fitter. And I daresay the Hub could benefit to by having a wife with slightly better moods at times. 

My challenge then is to find an exercise routine for 2016 that fits into my life and helps me cope, not something that will be a chore or take away from the other things in life that I want -- or love -- to do. I have a few ideas brewing, so I'll keep you posted on how it's all going. 

Have you made any New Year's resolutions for 2016? Do tell.

Photo credit: tft-0344 via photopin (license)
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The Addictive Lure Of The Inbox

Opening up your email or any type of inbox pinging, including messaging, can be thrilling and addictive. Who wants to talk to me? What good news are they bringing, or even better, what interesting gossip are they willing to share? That's why the most common sight in a public place these days is people with heads down tapping away. Sure, they're reading news or looking at Facebook, but mostly it's all about the instant gratification of someone reaching out to them.

But once the initial thrill is gone, inboxes turn straight into drudgery. There are usually requests to answer, things to do and decisions to be made. And it never, ever ends. How annoying are those people who once you respond send you something right back and now you have to respond again? (In some ways I feel bad if I do respond right away. But then also gleeful that the ball is back in their court. Ha!)

So this may be the most boring post I have ever written, but I hope it is helpful. If you, like me, like hearing how other people wrangle with the admin tasks of modern life, read on. I have wrestled with my messaging strategy and here's what works for me.  

1. I do check email first thing in the morning.
Read any article about productivity and the one big no-no is checking and responding to emails first thing in the morning. The worry is that if you do this, you'll never get to the really important things you need to get done for the day. But I can't get on with my day in a productive fashion if I have all these unanswered requests waiting for me in my inbox. Also, if I know I have work to get on with it makes me zip through my inbox much faster, instead of the more leisurely pace I might take if I do it when I don't have urgent tasks awaiting my attention.

2. I have adopted the so-called 'batch processing' method.
(Sounds thrilling, no?) This means that you go through your inbox and then that's it. You don't check or respond in-between the set times you have for processing emails. Of course with work I have to cheat a bit because urgent requests could come in. So I have Outlook set up with the function where I get a preview of incoming messages in the right-hand corner of my screen. It's easy for me to assess whether something needs to dealt with straight away or can be answered after lunch (the next time I try to tackle my inbox). At the end of the day, I reply to anything absolutely necessary and do a tidy up -- deleting any junk mail that's come in during the afternoon -- before heading home.

3. I treat texts and instant messaging differently. Instantly.
Because these messages are generally shorter, I try to reply straight away even if I'm really busy when I see it come in. I never used to do this -- my chronic procrastination was really chronic -- even when I knew it would take only a few seconds. Now I just do it as a rule because it normally takes so little time and then I don't have to remember later. And yes, sometimes I do get caught up in conversations back and forth, but it never takes up as much time as I think it will. And if I don't know the answer, I reply saying so, and then add whatever I need to figure out to my to-do list. Then I don't have to worry about remembering.


I generally find when I don't have unanswered messages hanging over my head, I can just get on with other things with a clearer less-stressed mind.

Do you have rules for email and messaging? Or is it just not a problem for you?

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Later Never Comes

A lot of people try to change their life by changing habits. Exercise habits, eating habits, sleeping habits, drinking habits. Recently I have been working really hard to finally -- once and for all -- change my procrastination habit. Don't think procrastination is a habit? Neither did I. Being a procrastinator was just the way I was.

My procrastination was so pervasive that I am still shocked when I think about the way I used to operate, compared to how things are starting to change now.


If something didn't need to be done at an exact time, there was no way I would do it. Why put the dish in the dishwasher when you could leave it by the sink? Why open the mail the day it arrives when you can wait a day or two or even a week? Why text someone back straight away when you can wait a few hours or a day? I would always have piles of things around. Admin piles, stacks of things to read or file, an overflowing inbox, people to get back to and lists and lists of things to do.

It was such an ingrained habit that I didn't even realize I was doing it. Sure, I knew that I was putting off the big things -- work assignments that scared me, writing projects that I didn't think I was capable of completing, conversations I didn't want to have. But it was shocking how many small innocuous things I left for that other time -- you know, "later" -- when the tasks would be sure to be less annoying, less uninteresting and I would be feeling much more productive.

But later never came.

Instead, when later came, I just felt worse. I was constantly stressed by all these little things I had to do, as well as the big things. And I thought this was how everyone operated. I remember being caught off guard when I told the Hub that we should do some boring household task tomorrow. He seemed slightly annoyed and reprimanded me: "Let's just get it done."

Because of course today I couldn't tackle anything. I was too stressed about everything I had to do.

I do think that the major clear out I did last year (read more about it here), really helped me to pinpoint how bad this habit was. With less clutter around, I am considerably less anxious, and it's easier to see what's holding me back from doing what I want to do.

There is, however, an argument to be made for putting some things off. When there's a real problem to solve, it helps to give yourself time to figure it out before diving in and tackling it the wrong way. But sometimes you have to start something before you can even get to this stage -- there's a lot to be said for getting more information straight away. And even if you can't get back to someone immediately away with a decision, you can respond to an email or text and say you need more time to figure something out (my procrastination habit was also turning into just plain bad manners).

I suppose I could make the excuse that I was just conserving energy. Sometimes if you don't do something for long enough, you don't end up having to do it. But to be honest, this habit has never felt like a good thing and has always made me feel like everything in life is so hard and difficult. It's actually a relief to realize it doesn't have to be that way.

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A 30-Something Girl Scout?

Last year was my year of dealing with "stuff" as we prepared to sell our flat and buy a real grown-up house. Not only did I embark on my life-changing clear out, but my Mom sent over all my childhood belongings. Now everything I own (O.K., the childhood doll house was not shipped to England) resides under my roof.

One thing I discovered during this process is that not only have I struggled with chronic procrastination my whole life, but I also am not good at finishing tasks, even ones I'm enjoying. I have ventured to try to understand this and -- even without the help of a professional psychologist -- I have come to the conclusion is that this has been completely about perfectionism, which is completely about anxiety.

When I describe this to people they are always baffled as they perceive me to be driven, organized and together -- a honest-to-goodness nerd. But that's the problem: I am driven and organized, and I use those bursts of energy to make up for all the time I spend not getting around to things or not getting them finished. And then everything works out O.K. in the end (or even better than O.K.), so in a way it's never been a "problem".

Oh but it has. It's hard to enjoy life and the work that you want to do when you're in a constant state of anxiety about being behind on everything.

Which made me realize that something had to change. And when I saw my Girl Scout sash among my childhood belongings I decided to do something radical. The sash was not complete -- it was accompanied by a neat baggie which contained some of the badges that I had never sewn on. I was mortified: what kid wants to be a Girl Scout, does the work for a badge and then doesn't sew it on? There was even a sewing badge there! What the what?


So over Christmas, which we spent at my in-laws, I sewed on all the badges that were missing from the sash. Even the cookie sale ones. (Consequently my father in law said he had a badge he wanted sewed on a sweatshirt, so I did that one too. Everyone wins!)

I know it sounds nuts. But for me it was a symbolic activity. It was almost as if with each stroke of the needle I was telling that little girl who is still in there somewhere that there's no reason not to be bold. Whatever it is I want to do, why not do it whole hog and not care what anyone else thinks? Whether it's being a Girl Scout, a writer or something else entirely. And, maybe even more importantly, that I am capable of these things -- there's no reason to fear this specter of failure I've been running from my whole life.

I think Girl Scout cookie time is coming up soon, so if you live in the U.S., please support this great organization. It's still teaching me lessons, even as a 30-Something former Girl Scout. I have my order in already for a box of samoas.

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More Of The Same?

As a blogger who writes about the connection between mind and body, how can I not write a New Year's resolution post?


I've been thinking about this a lot over the past few days and the thing that bothers me about these types of resolutions is how we suddenly fail to realize all the progress that we've made already in our lives. It's as if we just throw the baby out with the bath water, looking at our lives as a blank canvass that could be perfect in 2015 if we only got more exercise/ate better/became tidier/smarter/more skillful/found a new job etc.

So this year, instead, I've decided to find a few areas in my life where I've actually made some progress in 2014 and shout at the top of my lungs: more of the same!! I feel like 2015 is looking better already.

And I like making lists in threes, as they are easier to remember and it also seems perfectly reasonable to have three aspirations as you can always say at the end of the year: "Well, two out of three ain't bad..."

1. Writing. I made a bit of progress with this at the end of last year, getting more into a routine for working on projects, as well as keeping up with you, my dear readers. I'd like to continue this as it seems to be working and of course I'm no where near getting those bigger writing projects done. But getting into a writing routine is half the battle.

2. Eliminating procrastination. The big life-changing clear out in 2014 had a strange by-product. Amazingly, it helped to reduce my annoying procrastination habit that has plagued my entire life. I think this had something to do with my fear of decision-making and the fact that I had to choose over and over again which objects to keep and which to discard. It somehow gave me more confidence to just push ahead with things. And I hope this new attitude will not only help with continuing with writing, but also to do the work to make our new house a home in 2015.

3. Driving. So here's my new resolution, as it would probably be too lame to have three "more of the same" resolutions. American citizens with U.S. driving licenses cannot just convert them to a U.K. license. And so I cannot own a car here without taking a driving test. It stinks to feel 16 again. But then again, it could be fun. To get a license, a car, to hit the open road. I think England even extends outside of London, they tell me.

So there you have it folks. My New Year's resolution strategy for 2015. What's yours?
And Happy 2015!
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Heading For The Finish Line

Nearly a year ago, I participated in NaNoWriMo or National Novel Writing Month, in an attempt to write a short novel, or 50,000 words in one month. I didn't finish, but gave it the old college try, writing 33,637 words in the end.

But then... nothing. I meant to finish in the following months, but literally closed my laptop that day and didn't even go back to read my attempt. I was too terrified of how bad it actually was. And then life got busy. We decided to try to buy a house and sell our flat (a process that is still ongoing) and as part of that, I embarked on my massive clear out project.

Funny enough, two things I learned about myself during the clear out are 1) I was a prolific writer in my early and teen years but 2) never finished anything. Unless I had to. So all writing that was part of school assignments was completed, while anything I did on my own was begun with enthusiasm, but left languishing.

Journaling, I was better at, but I think my ability to stick to it was that I reasoned no one would ever see it and so there was very little fear of writing badly.

So in a literal and metaphorical sense, I've decided to start finishing things. I'm brushing the fear away for that child in me and two weeks ago I read all 33,637 words of my novel attempt. It was excruciating at times (well, most of the time), but also really interesting. I started out packing in so much information to each sentence and paragraph, like my journalism training would tell me to, but somewhere towards the end it starts to flow a little better and tell a story. There were parts that were so bad I laughed out loud. But there were also sentences or even paragraphs where I thought: well, that's not so bad.

The good news is at least I see where it needs a major editing overhaul -- particularly at the beginning. What I didn't know as a child, but I now know after years of professional (albeit factual financial) writing, is that all first drafts are bad. So if you can see through that then maybe it's worth working to finish something. Also, I am curious to see how I bring it to the ending I have in mind. So for those of you who have asked me if you can read it, be careful what you offer, as it is definitely going to need a good editor.

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