American Girl

We will be "completing" on our house next Friday and moving in. When I talk to friends and family back home about this process I say things like: "I think this might be the same thing as a closing?"

This has got me thinking about the fact that I barely know how to be an American adult. The older I get, the more I realize that my grown-up experience in the U.S. is limited to graduating from college and getting my first apartment and job. I may know how to tip in a New York City bar, and the where the best hangover food is located, but I've never bought a property, had to sort out a health insurance nightmare or even had the experience of quitting a job in my home country.

Sometimes this really starts to feel scary. Perhaps this has to do with the fact that I am adding "house" to my list of permanent British connections -- a list that so far includes passport and husband. And all my worldly belongings are now in this country after the enormous box arrived from my parents this summer with all my childhood items.

I no longer remember if certain expressions originate in the U.K. or the U.S. -- we write in American English at the office, and I am no more a good reference for people asking if a phrase would be understood on the other side of the Atlantic. I finally know what pulling up stumps means. I use loo roll and washing-up liquid. I wear trousers and jumpers. (I also am aware that Ireland uses the euro.)

I find it disconcerting that when I do return to America, that local newscasters I grew up with look older, the hosts of late-night talk shows have changed numerous times and I no longer know much about pop culture there, including reality T.V. programs (probably a blessing). It's funny how it's a global world these days but there are still some things that stay local.

But one of the very important things I've learned being an expat for so many years is that identity and culture are a very fluid concept and well they should be. Holding onto one cultural identity and believing it defines you can be very dangerous indeed -- it's ego-driven in a way that doesn't allow you to see that people may be different, but ultimately we're all human beings just trying to get by in this world.  

So I may be an American girl and a British adult, but it's probably not helpful to even think this way. Wherever I live and whatever happens, I'll hopefully be able to just figure things out as I go -- day by day. Which is an important thing to remember generally when you're embarking on something as big as a house move.

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Book Review: Small Move, Big Change

Habits are a big thing at the moment. Gretchen Rubin (of The Happiness Project) comes out with her new book Better Than Before: Mastering Our Habits In Everyday Life in March. In the meantime, pick up Small Move, Big Change by Caroline Arnold, a very good book on, dare I say it, how to go about changing your habits in a relatively painless way.

The premise goes something like this: make all your changes small enough that it is absolutely ridiculous not to implement them. Arnold calls these "microresolutions" and they are just that, very small, doable changes.

She discusses how most people attempt to completely overhaul their bad habits, trying to do such overwhelming things as "get organized", which in my view, stems from the natural impatience we have as humans of wanting to change things all at once. And as Arnold reminds us, this is usually a course for disaster. After that initial euphoria that comes from the start of a new project, our old habitual practices kick in. And it's true, think about how strong our ingrained habits are. None of us would even think of going to bed without brushing our teeth, because it's second nature in our society -- something we've been doing every night of our whole lives. Most people probably can't even remember learning to brush their teeth as they were so young when they did.

Arnold starts the book by giving an example of how she used a microresolution to "get organized". She found that she was always taking notes at work in various notebooks, on scraps of papers, or on printed out presentations or agendas during meetings. This meant that everything ending up in different places and she was constantly wasting time trying to find specific notes. Her microresolution: To put all my notes in one notebook. And because this resolution was obviously feasible -- although didn't prove as easy at it might seem -- she was determined to keep it.

The book walks us through Arnold's seven rules of microresolutions and she peppers the explanations of each with very concrete examples from her own life. Because I am incredibly nosy about how other people's brains work, what motivates them and how their structure their lives, I loved this detail. And it was very helpful in understanding how to apply her rules to my daily life. She also includes helpful chapters on each areas that most people want to change or improve, including fitness, diet & nutrition, clutter, relationships, spending, punctuality and organization. I also liked the fact that she provided to examples of the way in which she changed habits at both work and home, which is, in practice, the way we live, juggling the two sides to our lives.

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