My Child, The Zen Master

It's hard at the moment to know what to say from lock down in the middle of a pandemic. The Hub and I have now been in our house -- apart from daily walks with the Little Guy for exercise and to buy groceries -- for nearly four weeks. We are spending our time working a lot, watching a nearly-18-month-old child and cooking and cleaning. It's surreal and exhausting.

But we are lucky. We -- and our friends and families -- are healthy (for now). We still have jobs. The wifi is strong. We have enough food and coffee and chocolate and booze. Six seasons of the Sopranos may be a little retro, but it is taking our minds off of things. Our marriage still seems intact and we are getting to see the Little Guy grow and develop at a magical age where he is suddenly wanting to be a little autonomous adult.

There are so many people out there who are really suffering right now and I wish they weren't. Whether it's the kind of tragedy we see in the news, or the kind that only that individual knows behind closed doors, I think with life as it was turned upside down, every person has their own personal cross to bear.

I suppose like with all crises, whether you are directly affected or not, you're basically just trying to get through the day in one piece, and will figure everything else out when you're out the other side. And although I am finding that having a very young child in this situation is tough, it is actually also a big blessing.

Because having a child is like living with a sometimes irritating pint-sized zen master.

Children live in the present moment. Just like they don't understand the idea of having to get out of the bath in five minutes, they also don't worry about what isn't happening now to them. The Little Guy isn't worried about running out of loo roll (although he doesn't use the stuff to be fair), or pasta or rice. He isn't worried about much, in fact, other than where his next rich tea biscuit is coming from, or where that ball that he just threw ended up. 

One of my favorite things to do is just watch him play. Fascinated with the pull chain on a window blind or a coaster or whatever is new favorite toy -- sometimes just one of our remote controls. It is a little like time stands still if I can just relax and be with him in the moment. I say I haven't had time for meditation since he's been born, but I am getting some in when I'm with him -- and allow myself to be really with him.

I had a lot of plans for this year, especially as I felt like I was just emerging from the post-maternity leave haze. And now of course, the Universe is clearly laughing at me. In the meantime, I'm just going to try to slow down, do whatever I can to help others when it's possible, appreciate what I have, and stay in the moment with the Little Guy.

I hope all of you are doing O.K. in these difficult times. Write to me, tell me how you are. And for those of you who are key workers on the front lines -- or supporting them -- I have so much respect and gratitude for what you are doing. Thank you.