Gemma & Rose

Starting to blog is a strange thing. It's really putting yourself 'out there', not only making your writing public, but also your thoughts, observations and opinions. Scary stuff. And as public as it is, it's also sometimes difficult to get anyone to take the time to read posts. There's a lot competing for everyone's attention out there. 

But I love reading other people's blogs, almost as much as I like blogging. It's helpful to hear what's going on in other's heads and it's a great way to get all sorts of useful and interesting information as well. As a former journalist I know there's lots of expertise and creative thought hiding out under people's metaphorical hats, and I think it's damn nice when they take the time and make the effort to share of it freely with others.

Along that vein, I'd like to introduce two friends who have recently set up their own blogs: Gemma & Rose. 

Gemma is originally from Liverpool and started her blog to write about living in London, specifically chronicling 52 things she has always wanted to do or see in this great city. As she so eloquently puts it:

After a 2014 which zapped my energy levels, it was time to take a stand. I was growing weary of the endless stories from friends and colleagues (often from far off lands) of places they had visited in London, which as a native who moved to London six years ago I still hadn’t done. It was time to redress the balance. It was also time to do those things I keep wishing to do but always seem that tomorrow would be a better day.

You can find Gemma blogging at: www.gemma.london

Rose is an American expat (like me!), but she lives in Paris. I'm totally jealous as I've always wanted to live there. She writes the blog Paris, Pittsburgh and More. Rose recently wrote a post about her own experience with refugees -- an insightful and interesting piece that starts with the sentence: One of my best friends is a refugee. You won't be disappointed when reading her story.

If you are as taken with Paris as I am, or think it's the most romantic city in the world (sigh), I'm sure you'll enjoy reading her thoughts and comments on life there.

In her own words: I started my blog in a "now or never" moment, and I'm having a lot of them lately! The defining moment came when Taron told me about her blog. It's been something I've been wanting to do for a while, especially after reading Gretchen Rubin's "The Happiness Project" last year. I'm being forced to live larger, experience life more fully. As far as happiness goes, it's way up there with dark French chocolate!

If you have a blog and I don't know about it yet, please do tell me. You can comment below or you can email me at mindbodyandscroll [at] yahoo [dot] com. Happy reading!

Photo credit: Hyper-real via photopin (license)

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Book Review: Women, Work and the Art of Savoir Faire

I have mixed feelings about Mireille Guiliano, author of Women, Work and the Art of Savoir Faire. Although I think there are truly great parts of her French Women Don't Get Fat two-book series, and I do think she has a very healthy relationship with food, her philosophy on weight loss in the books cuts a little bit too close to a diet. Although she does advise eating everything in moderation, she also tells readers to do a weekend leek soup fast to kick start things and then cut out certain types of foods until the weight starts to drop off.

However, her newest book is not specifically about food or lifestyle, but about women and work. She does put a fair dose of lifestyle advice in there – and I don't object to that. In fact, it's a good summary of things we already know but probably should be reminded about from time to time, like 'get enough sleep' and 'decide what you're going to wear the night before'. These things can actually save a lot of stress when it's time to get ready for work (it's a no brainer – but I still need to be reminded about them quite frequently).

Guiliano's writing style is engaging and her anecdotes in this book are very interesting – in fact, I think the book might have been better if it actually was written in memoir style instead of as a self-help book. My feeling while reading this book was that of confusion – which is it exactly? I felt that the lessons she was painting were good ones, but everything was so specific to her own experiences that I wasn't sure I could really apply them.

I've read a few books about women and work and have been helped the most by very specific advice that can be applied in a variety of situations. Like, 'don't apologize (which women tend to do) unless there's a very good reason for it', and 'treat work like a game, not a meritocracy' (something women – probably from years of conditioning – also tend to not 'get').

That said, I think reading a book about one very accomplished woman's experiences with work, particularly as an ex-pat woman in the male-dominated drinks industry in the US during the 1980s was fascinating (she was a senior executive and spokesperson for Veuve Clicquot). There's always something we can learn from reading about someone else's experiences told from their unique point of view.

There is one other issue. Guiliano chose not to have children. And she doesn't really address how she thinks this may or may not have affected her career path. I raise this issue delicately as I don't want to imply in any way that her success is linked with the absence of children. In a recent column in the Financial Times, Lucy Kellaway (who writes about work life) addresses the same issue. She didn't do any scientific research, but trawled through a list of prominent women CEOs and found that what they generally had in common were husbands who either had more flexible working schedules or worked for themselves and were able to pitch in more than their fair share on childcare and other family-related tasks.

Most women (and men) don't make it to the echelons of their company's highest ranks, so Guiliano's success does raise this kind of question. Would things have been different if she had children?

If you like reading about other people's experiences, want a good few common sense tips, and don't mind feeling slightly inadequate (I mean, she does sometimes seem like a superwoman), I think this book is a good read. But don't expect to get any heavyweight insight into how to climb the corporate ranks at your company – I'm just not sure there's enough advice packed in.

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Guilt And Marshmallows

I have a new found respect for the French since last week. Their radio stations may be crap, but when it comes to a healthy respect for food and pleasure, they seem to have all the answers.

On our first night in France (before we arrived at the farmhouse) we stayed in a hotel that was quite plush. There was a bar area on which two very colorful jars of candy were situated – one with pastel green, pink and white marshmallows and the other with jelly bean-type sweets.

Here are the lovely fluffy marshmallows:

Not so strange. But, notice how next to the jar there was a little sign. This explained how marshmallows are actually good for digestion and can help to prevent inflammation of the mouth and throat. I kid you not. I felt another photo snap might be necessary as evidence.

I think this sheds some light on why the French seems to have fewer food issues than people living in Anglo-Saxon countries. Essentially, from what I can tell, the French don't really do guilt. And the marshmallow sign was a clear manifestation of this. They know that everyone feels like having something sweet every once in a while (even a marshmallow!), but they don't gnash their teeth over how 'bad' they've been and feel guilty. No, instead they justify it by creating some pseudo-scientific reason why it was actually good for them. Brilliant. (Not that I generally agree with pseudo science, but I'll make an exception here.)

Everywhere we went in France people were sitting around together eating and drinking. Although food is clearly very important and treasured it seemed secondary to whatever else they were talking about. They weren't sitting there mulling over what they should eat, should they be 'good' or 'bad' (this kind of food moralizing drives me nuts, click here to read my posting about food being the new religion). They just seemed to eat really naturally and moderately, without shying away from very high-fat food (just the opposite in fact).

It's not like they are all stick insects. They looked pretty normal – a variety of different body types – and more importantly, in my opinion, they seemed comfortable in their own skin. They were also very well-groomed no matter their size or shape, clearly taking much pride in their appearance.

As Lucy Wadham in her memoir The Secret Life of France writes, "Because there is no sin attached either to the pleasure of sex or the pleasure of food, overeating tends not to be a manifestation of self-loathing. Put simply, if your body is a temple for the pursuit of guilt-free sexual pleasures, you're less likely to want to trash it."

I couldn't have said it better myself. We Anglo-Saxons could learn something from the French. Marshmallow anyone?

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Good For The Soul

As daunting as it may sometimes seem, getting out of your comfort zone can be a good thing. I was reminded of this a few times during our recent holiday in France. I think people (particularly me) can put a lot of pressure on themselves to absolutely adore their vacations, but really, is your life that much different just because you're somewhere else physically?

OK, maybe you're not working and maybe you're doing really fun things, but still, as Richard Carlson (author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff and various other amazing books) would often say: wherever you go, there you are. You can't have fun every second of every day on a holiday and sometimes those little demons that haunt you in your everyday life show up even when you're sitting by the pool drinking a piña colada (unless you've had two or three).

So that's why, for me, going on a holiday that pushed me a bit was probably a really good thing – a real break from everyday life – good for the soul, I like to think.

The first little challenge was a lack of running water. We stayed in an old farmhouse where although there is a bathroom (including shower), for various reasons, the plumbing is currently broken. Yes, I agreed to go on this trip (!!) and actually I had done this pseudo camping there before, about five years ago, when the summer was particularly hot. So we showered at the pool every day.

I did have a bit of a wobble when it seemed a little too chilly for a cold shower at the pool and I hadn't had one for two days. Alright, I admit it, it was more of a strop. I even threatened to not come back to the house until the plumbing got fixed (imagine threatening that!). But I was able to pull myself back from the edge, from the place where annoyance turns to that anger and you have to make a choice: you can keep being angry or you can just stop. It's hard to do because sometimes it just feels so good to just wallow, but really, where does it get you in the end? You're only making yourself miserable.

The other big out-of-my-comfort zone thing that happened was a whole evening spent with the French neighbors at an impromptu party. Now my French is sort-of decent, but no where near fluent and it was very hard to spend the whole night feeling as though my one superpower – the ability to make small talk in any situation – was robbed from me. Especially as Future Hub is really good at conversing in French and I kept looking over at him green with envy, while I popped delicious pieces of ham and cheese and bread into my mouth to console myself.

I made due, however, and it reminded me to remain extremely respectful of those people I know who not only speak but even work in languages other than their native tongue. It inspired to me to get back to practicing my French, although in a few weeks time I'm sure I'll have forgotten about this new resolution.

Despite these small challenges, the house is located in a beautiful part of southern France, which made it all worthwhile. When you drive around there are so many wonderful things to see and good food to eat (very heavy on all sorts of meat – patés, confits and the like, which I wouldn't think of eating in England but were absolutely delicious). And at night the vast silence and number of mighty stars that fill the inky sky keeps you from worrying about all the silly nonsense that typically rumbles around in the head.

Here, have a gander at Peyrusse-le-Roc, which we climbed up (much easier than it looks). Perhaps worth putting up with lack of indoor plumbing for a while – and good for the soul.

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The Whole Story

I'm back in town. And although I said I wouldn't post until my usually scheduled time of Monday (thru Thursday), I just couldn't help myself!

The trip to France was interesting and fun and I have so many compelling goodies to share with you, including anecdotes about marshmallows, wild boars and a genuine lack of indoor plumbing. It will be so much fun next week! I must admit, I did miss blogging (hence my unusually hefty use of exclamation points).

But in the meantime, I have tinkered around with the site and added some new features, including some new pages. "About This Blog" and "Contact" probably speak for themselves, but just to let you know that "The Whole Story" is an article I've written about how the whole RSI/muscle pain drama began and how in the end I got sorted out. It's rather long, so don't think of it as a blog post, but as something you can read through when you've got time and a glass of wine/cup of tea in hand and can maybe put your feet up on a footstool (aren't footstools grand?).

I've also signed up for a twitter account, just in case you're into that sort of thing - you can follow me at @mindbodyscroll. And, if you haven't noticed, there's also a relatively new feature where you can sign up to get my posts via email, without even having to check the site (my Mom, who is a very busy lady, is a big fan of this spangly feature).

Looking forward to chatting with you Monday.

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