Trial And Error

 If you've been reading my blog from the beginning or at least over the past few months, you would be familiar with my morning struggles. To summarize, I'd like to be a morning person. They seem more productive and happy or something. But I'm not.

So over the past year I've been attempting to either try to become one or at least get up a little earlier in order to give myself some extra time to do the things I like to do, or at least not arrive at the office late and in shambles and feeling guilty (which happens a lot).

Growth and change are never linear. When I set out to 'fix' my posture/RSI problems, things would improve, and then they wouldn't for a long time. Sometimes I would feel like I was moving backwards.

Changing anything usually involves a lot of mistakes. And so has been my challenge with mornings. I've tried to bribe myself to get up earlier (pizza for breakfast anyone?), commit publicly to getting up earlier, spend the early mornings at home hanging out doing stuff, spend the early mornings at work doing stuff. I've made lovely breakfasts, bribed myself with cream cheese, eggs, bacon, etc. (the food list goes on and on), tried meditating early in the morning, writing in the morning, doing absolutely nothing in the morning except giving myself more time to get ready and last but not least, putting my blackberry in the living room in the hope that I would at least get out of bed to check my email.

Well, I've learned a few things.

First, I'm not sure if this is ever going to change, but the absolute earliest I can get up, without thoughts of ending my life (I'm only partly joking) is 6.30 a.m. For some reason, that half hour between 6 and 6.30 is a real necessity for me. And don't give me the whole have-you-tried-going-to-bed-earlier? speech. I've tried for a year. A year. I give up on 6 a.m. Also, even if I can get up at 6.30 a.m. most days of the week, there's always going to be one or two where I need to sleep until 7 a.m. I haven't been able to prevent this.

Second, my body is not ready for breakfast right away. It takes me at least until 8 a.m. if not 9 a.m. to be ready to eat. It's just the way my body is and I'm going to accept it.

And third, being creative isn't happening in the morning. I can get up successfully at 6.30 a.m., get into work a little early and answer emails or do admin, but I'm not ready for writing or anything of the sort.

But there's also some good news: I've realized that the morning walk I started doing a year ago in the summer when we moved into our new flat was really the happiest morning activity I've ever engaged in. So I've re-instituted it. I don't know what it is, maybe it wakes me up, or cheers me up. But whatever the reason, it works. I just go to the train station that is a 25-minute walk from our house (instead of the one 10 minutes away). I sometimes even do it on the way home as well. Hey, when you sit at a desk all day, some light walking isn't going to hurt. It also gives me time to think and be alone, which I love. We'll see if I'm so enthusiastic in the winter months.

I don't know if this is the end of the morning story, but I think I've settled on a happy medium. Maybe I'm not a morning person, or will never be one, but through trial and error I've at least discovered a few things about myself that help me to navigate the mornings OK and at the very least I'm late for work less often.

P.S. The most ironic thing about this is that if you read my first post on this subject, The Magical Life Of The Morning Person, I already knew a lot of what I discovered this past year, which means maybe I need to trust myself more. Although I seem to have at least programmed myself to get up some days half an hour earlier than before, so that's some progress!

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  1. Hi, Taron! I love that you've come to acknowledge and accept these things about yourself, even if you first wanted to change them. I've found that it's sometimes far more powerful to accept than to relentlessly pursue transformation. And 6am is really too early, isn't it?

  2. @bodyandbrood - Thanks! I agree about acceptance, and you know, at least I can always say I tried :) Very excited about your word for June, by the way. Looking forward to participating!


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