Pre-Made Sandwiches?

I have a dream. I want to start up a New York deli in London, where anyone can get any sandwich they want, made-to-order. The deli would, of course, also sell pizza by the slice.

I've been feeling a bit homesick recently and it seems to have manifested itself in a real irritation with the British love of the pre-made sandwich -- particluarly pre-made sandwiches heavy on the mayonnaise. With no choice in the manner. Even ham and cheese sandwiches are coated in mayo, while they should so clearly have mustard on them, if you have to choose a condiment.

I probably wouldn't have become so irritated were it not for the fact that the one sandwich place in Canary Wharf that I liked and that actually made sandwiches to order (although they would still give you the hairy eyeball if you asked for anything even slightly wacky) struck my favorite sandwich off the menu. It was essentially the closest thing to a meatball parm sub that I have found in London and I believe I was probably the only person in all of Canary Wharf ordering it. Sans spinach of course (which was their 'recommended' combination) and with cheese instead.

Did I handle it with grace? No. I screeched, "but that was your BEST sandwich!" followed up by a scathing, "Well, you've lost a customer." I don't think the people at 'Baguette' even batted an eyelid as I turned on my heel and walked away. People are never surprised by the behavior of Americans abroad, really.

Thing is, although I'll definitely miss my pseudo meatball sub, I think it was a bit of a scapegoat for my general feelings of homesickness lately. For some reason, I seem to associate Italian-American cuisine with my love of America, which is strange because I have no Italian roots. I suppose it's
just my comfort food. When the Hub and I had our brush with watching Jersey Shore last summer (we loved to analyze Sammi and Ronnie's complex relationship) I believe I enjoyed it mostly because they were constantly chowing down on things like Chicken Cutlet and Baked Ziti – dishes that when mentioned here elicit a blank look.

Why the homesickness? It could be that this past week was Thanksgiving, which, like Fourth of July
always makes me a little sad. Or that I have recently been thrust into a new role at work, which although a good thing, is new and therefore stressful and my routine has gone amok (more on this soon). Or, maybe it's just because I haven't been back to the States in a year.

What's interesting, however, is while most people might just say they feel a bit sad or in a rut, ex-pats have a very convenient scapegoat. There's always something concrete to blame the malaise on. For me it's the loss of the meatball sandwich. And tomorrow it will be mayonnaise-coated ham at Pret. But the truth is that sometimes we just feel sad or stressed for no real reason at all -- and sometimes that's hard to stomach, almost as much as excessive amounts of mayonnaise.

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Pain: The Great Teacher

I've been absent from blogging for weeks now due to a new role at work -- which for many reasons is occupying a lot of my time. I considered skipping this month's Self-Discovery Word by Word but decided last minute on a beautiful Sunday afternoon to make sure I contributed. After all, as someone who writes about her recovery from severe neck and back pain, how could I consider not writing about 'pain', this month's word?

If you're new to my blog, you can read the long version of my struggle with pain here. But a quick synopsis is that I had repetitive strain injury (RSI) from poor posture and long hours spent hunched over my desk. Unfortunately, I also threw out my back last year and it has taken me a long time to recover from it. But with the help of an excellent physio (physical therapist), I am now essentially pain free.

And what did I learn? Pain is a great teacher. I would say that the most important thing is that everything in life is temporary. One minute you go from a carefree lifestyle and the next moment you are in debilitating pain, worried that you won't be able to continue earning a living. But it's not limited to that one experience. Everything you have in this life, on this earth, can be taken away from you in a short moment. We forget that most times.

But lying awake in the middle of the night with a neck ache so bad that you can barely sleep makes you acutely aware of how precious things like your health truly are.

I was lucky enough to find someone who could help me get better -- to lead me through the pain and out to the other side. And I think that's true of any kind of pain -- physical and emotional. Although life is tough on this planet, we are not alone and I think one of the most important things to realize that there is help out there to get through just about anything.

Pain has been a great teacher to me: it is tough but it is not insurmountable, particularly with help. On the other side, life looks different -- you realize there's just not enough time in this short life to take things for granted.

This post is part of the Self-Discovery Word by Word Series. For more information and to participate, check out November's kick-off post here.

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Physio For Life?

Often, when I tell people about everything I've gone through on the physio (physical therapy) front, they ask me if I will have to do my physio exercises forever.

The answer is yes and no. It really depends.

When you have a muscle imbalance problem, the first order of action is to fix it. This is done using a series of exercises that strengthen the muscles that are too weak and stretch out the muscles that are too tight. The really good exercises work a charm at doing both (for more detailed info, you can read The Whole Story).

Once your muscles are in the right balance using the specific physio exercises, then you can move on to doing more normal physical activities – for me swimming and yoga right now – and those muscles that are now strong get even stronger. In many cases you don't need to do certain physio exercises because they have just become too easy – you are essentially too strong to do them anymore.

I was talking to someone I know about this and she challenged me, saying that she could do her physio exercises until the cows come home but because she sits at a desk all day it undoes all the effort.

Sitting at a desk is bad for your posture. In fact, it's what did me in in the first place. However, now that my muscles are in the right balance, I can pretty much sit at my desk 9 to 5 ish with the correct posture. When you are strong enough, your posture cannot be thrown, unless certain things happen, and this is where the 'it depends' comes into the equation. If you are extremely stressed or working super long hours, then you might not be able to sit up straight. You might find your shoulders creeping up around your ears as you rush to finish that report that is due. Or your back hunching over in exhaustion. Because, after all, your body is not a machine. During times like these, I do need to do my physio exercises to stretch myself out again.

But, over time, I will gradually reduce the frequency of my exercises. I will probably always check that I can do certain exercises required for strength. And I may need to do some of my neck exercises on days where things are stressy at work or if I have a cold, which tends to tighten up your neck because your glands get swollen (I bet you didn't know that!).

If your physio is a good one, they should correct the problem for the long run. And give you the tools to keep the body a well-oiled machine when activity spikes for whatever reason – perhaps stress that's out of your control or even learning a new type of exercise. As much as I love having the excuse to watch whatever I want on TV while I run through my basic set of exercises, I am now testing my ability to go for a short period of time without doing them. First every other day, then every three days and so on. Everyone's body is truly different, so I may need to do them once a week or I may only have to do them once a month. Or perhaps I will prefer to keep doing a few each day, just because I won't have to ever worry about being stiff even if I get stressed and busy. Figuring out what is right for my body (and mind) is truly the next challenge in my rehabilitation process.

So as for most things in life, it all depends. But at least I am safe in the knowledge that I have fixed my posture for the long-run, which is a big relief considering that life can really throw anything our way.

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As The Nights Draw In

Sunday was my favorite day of the year. Getting an extra hour in the day is the most glorious thing. The Hub thinks I'd prefer to be a bear if I could. I like sleeping so much that hibernating a few months of the year would suit me just fine.

I do appreciate the extra hour of sleep, but I also feel like the extra hour we receive on this weekend every year is a small gift that makes the blow of next week easier. Autumn just seems to get busier every year. Christmas comes faster and I seem to be involved in more at work as the years go by.

And next week the darkness in England really arrives. By mid-December I usually start to notice signs of the sun setting by lunchtime. I don't know how people in Scandinavia and even Scotland survive as the days are short enough for me in London. If you didn't know, London is much further north than New York (Madrid is approximately the same latitude line as New York). I had no idea about this when I moved here (apparently I don't pay much attention to maps). On December 16th of this year, the sun will rise at 8 a.m. and set at 3:52 p.m.

I don't really mind the darkness that much. I'm lucky – I know people who really suffer in London winters. I actually like the fact that winters here feel completely different than the summers. Although we don't get too much heat in the summer, we get plenty of light and it makes the days feel long and full of possibilities.

But I'm not so great with change and this week I'll feel disoriented. When it starts getting dark at 4 p.m., I'll feel sad. It's the shock, I guess, and the feeling that once again, time is passing. Things have happened to me and friends of mine recently that has made me think a lot recently about how little control we have over our lives.

The only thing we do have control over is the way that we react to our constantly shifting lives. We can take the challenges and difficulties in stride and focus on what we are grateful for and enjoy the small things that we love daily – for me: morning walks, reading books on my commute, writing, cooking and being able to exercise again (more on this next week). We can choose to be tenacious, to approach life with humor and joy.

It's not always easy, but it's at least something to strive for. And as the nights draw in we can appreciate seeing friends, eating good food and drinking nice hot drinks, like mulled wine or hot cocoa. Light a candle in the darkness, so to speak. How do you cope with the winter blues and our lack of control in life generally?

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