When A Cardigan Is Not Enough

It's that time of year again: summer in Britain. And it's great, with BBQs, picnics and of course strawberries & Pimms. And no matter how much the Brits complain, the weather isn't bad -- not too hot, not too cold. But for a long time, summer here made me miserable. I was caught off guard when the good sunny warm weather hit and was often either freezing or uncomfortably warm. In short, it has taken me a long time to get used to dressing here (nearly 10 years - I am slow on the uptake). If you are new to this country, this post is for you. Or if you have lived here a while and still find yourself awkwardly dressed this time of year, read on. 

Here goes:

A cardigan is not enough. During a sweaty New York summer a cardigan is perfect for an air conditioned restaurant or the office, but it just doesn't cut it in London. It can be very chilly on some summer days here. Think jean-jacket weather (those of you who are also children of the 80s). For work, a suit jacket can work, but I have four more versatile summer outerwear items* at the moment: a short khaki jacket with a belt, a summery blazer, an old fall-back jean jacket (not from the 80s, but doesn't actually work fashion-wise every year) and a blue longer spring coat for those much colder days. These trusty items are  so important because you are expected to be outside in the summer and if you don't have something warm, you won't have fun experiences at BBQs, picnics or while sitting in friends' gardens drinking wine and eating crisps. And that would be miserable! It's light until 10 p.m. this time of year - being outside is essential!

But don't be fooled by the fact that you are wearing a jacket. Don't even think about wearing a long-sleeve shirt or sweater underneath. Short sleeves or sleeveless dresses are essential for when you are inside. Even the air conditioned shops/offices/restaurants are not over-air conditioned like in some hot climates. Also don't forget that public transportation is not air conditioned at all - so even if it is mild outside you might be sweltering on the tube or bus.

And what if the temperature is inbetween? This brings me to my next tip.

The summer scarf. An oxymoron? I think not. It's the best thermostat around - makes your coat that bit warmer, or you can wrap it around your bare shoulders if it is too warm for the coat and too chilly for your sleeveless top. I've got a whole collection of cotton and linen scarves that I break out just for the season. 

Throw the scarf in your bag even if you think it it "very hot". Conditions are changeable. Make sure your scarf is kept company by a pair of sunglasses and umbrella. They both come in handy most days.

Then, get yourself one really cute but comfortable set of ballet flats. I resisted these for a long time as they do nothing for a woman's legs (in my humble opinion). But I clearly misunderstood. They are so useful when it has been cold and rainy for days and suddenly the sun comes out but you haven't had a pedicure. With a sundress or skinny jeans they work just fine. Also, they can be worn with tights to work on those cooler days before changing into heels - bonus. Sandals, not so versatile. It took me a while to find some that didn't tear up the back of my ankles, (thank you Dune!), but I am now a convert. (Many women here have lots of pairs but I prefer just one that I really like and goes with everything. You can really only wear them a few months of the year anyway - I prefer to have lots of nice pairs of boots!)

Coming back to tights. I know, I know, they are just not in the spirit of the summer. But sometimes it is too cold! Also, when you are in the habit of wearing them it feels weird to be in the office without them - I feel suddenly exposed, like the puritan I am. Which made it even funnier that my compromise -- flesh-colored small-knit fishnets -- was met with horror from one colleague. She told me they were slutty, which I found hillarious and made me want to wear them even more.

If you are English, Irish, Scottish or Welsh, this post may be met with the universal "duh". But for us Yankees it's just not that easy.

*Windbreakers, I find, don't work. They make you look like you really should be sailing or playing golf. Which is fine, but not on the streets of London.

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What If I Need It?

The manic wild clear out is progressing. The Hub and I have taken many bags to the charity shop, and after this upcoming week's Saturday bus trip -- with no car, we make for unusual creatures on the bus -- I estimate we will hit about 30 bags. I lost count at some point and the Hub scurried off with some items to donate before I could photograph them and make a record for the annals of MB&S history.

I've completed tops, bottoms, hanging clothes, socks, underwear, handbags, scarves, belts, hats, gym clothes, beach clothes, sleepwear, shoes, jewelry, books, skincare products, other toiletries, make-up, valuables (whatever that is!), electrical equipment, household equipment, household supplies, kitchen items, food supplies, games, playing cards, knick-knacks, candles, luggage, bedding, towels and seasonal items.

Phew.

By the way, this is what a bathroom looks like, deconstructed.

Scary stuff. (I love this photo, by the way, because no one can quite believe what a little hoarder I am.)

Still to go: the hard stuff, including papers, photos, sentimental papers, wall hangings/artwork. Not to mention the boxes my Mom will be shipping over which will contain some of the really tricky childhood stuff. And we've already gone through those boxes once together over Skype. You see, my parents are trying to move too. Change is in the air -- it's like Mary Poppins or something.

Apparently de-cluttering is contagious because I've convinced quite a few people to buy Ms Kondo's book and give this a go. And we've been discussing pitfalls, like what to do if you get rid of something you need. What then?

Don't worry, I've already had a bit of a crisis. I got rid of this weird purple cardigan that I was sure I never wore anymore. But then I realized that there's a particular blue dress with some purple trim for which it had been the perfect companion. But it was too late. Purple cardie had already left for the charity shop!

For a moment I was truly panicked and almost sad. I immediately started regretting all this clearing out nonsense. It was uncomfortable and I had become overzealous and really had done it now. Throwing away perfectly reasonable things that I actually needed. For a moment, I even thought about going to the charity shop and buying it again. Seriously. And then I came to my senses and figured out that I could probably find something else to wear with it. In fact, that stone-colored cropped blazer looks far better with it.

One of the big reasons I'm doing this clear out is to help myself learn to let go of fear. (I know, not quite as cool/sexy as bungee jumping or walking with lions, but baby steps here.) So I think that finding out I'm missing something is really the best thing. It wasn't really a disaster, and there's always another solution, if not an actual better outcome.

Related posts:

• A Breaking-Bad-Shaped Hole
• The Closet, The Drawers And The Wardrobe

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The Next Fitness Craze: Freeze Tag!

Have you ever joined a gym and filled out that section on the form where they ask you to tick off your reasons for coming to their establishment? The choices usually include things like "weight loss, stress management, aerobic fitness, strength or toning." The list may even stretch to "fun", or "bumping into work colleagues in embarrasing lycra", although I can't remember. It's been a while since I've filled one out. I do belong to a gym, but my corporate membership rolls over nearly automatically. And it has always been worth the money to me -- even when I was not doing any traditional sort of exercise. My gym's proximity to the office was useful for nipping over to do physio exercises. In recent years I've also used the pool to introduce swimming again. And who isn't interested in the occasional after-work or lunch time sauna?

But my recent decision to stop limiting my physical activities to Bikram yoga and the occasional swim, has made me start thinking again about exercise. And this time it's different. When I was in high school I exercised because I was trying out competitive sport (not particularly my forte). In my 20s it was what you did in New York City, you know, to avoid "putting on weight". Even when you were very thin. And I suppose, to try to deal with first-time-job stress and the terrifying idea of making your own way in the world (whether or not step classes actually help with this is still debatable).

But now, I have more experience and hopefully more wisdom, to really think about why I want to exercise. I don't know if it's my attempt at an epic clear out and determining which of my possessions spark joy, but I find myself pondering what kind of exercise it is that I actually want to do, or have liked most in my life. Friday night skiing at Greek peak in my university days, the Bikram floor series (possibly because it is after the standing series and involves lying down), swimming off the back of the boat in the Mediterranean, snorkeling in Key West, dancing, summertime tennis, ping-pong, and of course golf, clearly the most fun you can have with your clothes on.

But some of the activities that pop into my head are those from my childhood, like riding my bike on summer Sundays when the Bronx River Parkway was closed to traffic, jungle gym climbing, any kind of swimming in any kind of water -- including underwater handstands and somersaults (of course!) and freeze tag. Who doesn't like freeze tag? In fact, I am sure it will soon be appearing as the next cool class at my gym. Crazier things have happened. I mean, even step seems to be making a comeback. (I cannot tell you how horrified I was to have a conversation with one of the younger women at the office about this gym class she took called 'step'.) 

I'm not sure how my love of tag translates into my current phys ed routine. But I am pondering all this at the moment, while I finish the very physical work of clearing out our flat. However, when the Reebok gym at Canary Wharf starts offering it as a class, I will be asking for some sort of royalty payment. 

Related Posts:

• The Most Fun You Can Have With Your Clothes On

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The Closet, The Drawers And The Wardrobe

Living in England, I am disappointed that I don't actually own one of those old-style wooden wardrobes, just like I imagined when reading that first Chronicles of Narnia book. I remember not even really understanding what a wardrobe was when I first read it! But perhaps someday, I will actually own one of my own (a girl can dream).

In the meantime, I have to make do with clearing out closets and dressers (or "chests of drawers" as they say here). If you happened to read my last post, you will know that I have embarked on an epic de-cluttering, and am adhering to the methods laid out in Marie Kondo's soothing and inspiring book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying.

I have already completed clothes and books, which doesn't sound like a lot, but took a shocking amount of time, as well as physical and emotional energy. Asking yourself object by object if something sparks joy is effective -- and quite an interesting process on all sorts of levels -- but man, it's exhausting. Last Sunday after I finished all my books I had to take a 2-hour nap, just like a toddler. 

We'll discuss books at some point, but there were quite a few interesting by-products of the clothes sorting process that really surprised me. The first is that I can now actually see all my clothes, which is incredibly practical and has made getting dressed a much easier, and more fun, thing to do. Part of this is down to the fact that I only have items that spark joy in my collection (but of course), the other due to Marie's vertical folding technique which allows me to see all my tee-shirts, jeans, and socks when I open a drawer. I am not an expert at this folding yet, but you can get the idea with my tee-shirt attempt:

Although the socks are my favorite:

What a clever lady, eh? (Although one of my friends said she figured this out for herself and rolls her clothes so she can see them. Where do these domestic goddesses come from?)

Another surprise is how tidy I have become with my clothes -- it's as if my whole attitude to them has changed. I have always been a throw-clothes-on-a-chair sort of person (just ask my Mom), and then procrastinate about putting them away or in the laundry hamper. But recently I haven't even minded folding my clean clothes, a task I usually leave for our cleaner. She probably thinks I've had a minor stroke.

The last, and perhaps most nice thing that happened with this process is that I was immediately able to see the holes in my wardrobe. There weren't many, mind you, mostly I saw how I already had enough of just about everything: tee-shirts and camisoles, dresses, suits, jeans and dressy tops. And black skirts -- I apparently LOVE black skirts. They may just my most favorite thing in the world. So I am severely lacking of skirts in any other color, and I also realized I haven't bought dressy heels for so long that all of them needed heel repair. I brought them into work to take them to the shoe repair place, and had a sudden realization that maybe it was time to let them go. Ten minutes in Dune at lunchtime and I had two new pairs. And five minutes on the Boden site and I had three beige-y, neutral colored skirts winging their way to me (two of which I ended up keeping -- a very high hit rate for online shopping in my humble opinion). I have never shopped so quickly in my life, perhaps because I knew I actually needed the items.

And I don't feel too bad about spending the money, considering the plethora of items that have gone to the charity shop. 

And now, onto the next set of items to sort through. Maybe when I'm done our flat will have room for an actual wardrobe. But what will I put inside it? 

Related Posts:

• A Breaking-Bad Shaped Hole

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A Breaking-Bad-Shaped Hole

Last bank holiday weekend was momentous: on the rainy Monday, in a marathon session, the Hub and I finished watching the last episodes of Breaking Bad. I complained to him this week that I felt the palpable presence of the Breaking-Bad-shaped hole in our life.

In 2014 so far, the Hub and I have been obsessed with two things: the television series Breaking Bad and trying to sell our flat and buy a house. At least we have been successful in one endeavor – we have finally finished the series. The second one has eluded us.

But what do these two things have in common? Apart from the role they play in our nefarious plan to set up a meth lab? Not much, apart from the fact that the latter has inspired me to partake on a massive de-cluttering, and the conclusion of the former has now given me the time. With the Breaking-Bad-shaped hole in our life, I can now take my possessions in hand and figure out what is essential and what is not. And because the flat isn't selling, the clearing out at least gives me something I can physically do, while nothing else is happening.

I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying by Marie Kondo to get inspired. Don't be fooled by the somewhat strange name – it's a gem of a book about how to clear away your crap for good. She claims – unlike the diet industry that locks people in for life – that her clients never return. And although I have only just started on her prescriptive process, I can see why. For three reasons.

The first is that she recommends sorting through your stuff in a unique way: you don't go drawer by drawer or room by room, but by the type of object. So when you are clearing books, you collect them from every corner of the house and go through them methodically. Although initially this seems strange, I can see the madness now that I have begun. You would not believe where things lurk in your home undiscovered!

The second is a strategy to do the clear out only once, and fix the problem for good. She says not to take over 6 months with your de-cluttering binge or you will not feel the effects of a large shift in your environment, and perhaps more importantly, your attitude toward your possessions. Which brings me to the third reason to devour this book in just a few sittings: it helps you to focus on the things you want to keep, instead of what to throw away. You take each object in your hands and ask yourself if it elicits joy. What a question! What does that even mean? Well, I can tell you, it's a totally different question as to the usual de-cluttering ones: is it something useful? Do you love it? I have found that there are even things that I love that I am actually ready to let go of. (And just to clarify, not the Hub – he is already starting to worry I may throw him away by accident, such is the speed of the clearing I have already completed!)

What I love most about Kondo's process is how it helps you focus on what you want to surround yourself with. Because if you can practice asking yourself that question in regard to objects, then it's easier to do it with bigger things in life.

I will tell you about the clothes folding another time (it's revolutionary!). In the meantime, new T.V. series recommendations are very welcome. Otherwise we may end up with no possessions at all. At least moving – if it ever happens – will be easier.

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