Of course the list of what I have learned is probably close to infinite. But I've tried to boil it down to what would be my key advice -- if anyone asked me.
1. Don't buy any toys or cute clothes. People will get you loads of these things. And really, it's for the best. As a new parent you don't know what you will need really - and all the clothes and toys we were given were absolutely great. We used/are using them all.
2. Audio books. Over the last 10 months this is the only way I have been able to do any reading. Listening to a book while pushing a stroller (pram), or feeding, is great "me" time. Podcasts work too, but I felt like I was actually doing something really self-indulgent by reading a book. Also good on a plane with a baby on your lap.
3. Do some feeding research. If you're planning to try breastfeeding (or not), do some feeding research. I actually didn't want to breastfeed, but the hormones kicked in and suddenly I wanted to. I wish I had actually understood more about it before attempting it. It all worked out O.K. in the end, but it was a very rocky start. On the same vein - buy bottles and formula ahead of time just in case. Even if you're breastfeeding, you will probably also need bottles.
4. Wear support tights. I wore some cheap Boots support tights every day throughout my pregnancy even though we had one of the hottest summers on record in the U.K. I never had swollen ankles and all my shoes fit the whole time. Some people wouldn't care, but this felt like a huge victory to me.
5. Pick a guru. My guru has been Tracey Hogg, A.K.A. the Baby Whisperer. Her book has been my bible the past 10 months because simply, everything she says makes sense to me and has worked. But you have to find an expert who resonates with you. I didn't follow her for weaning, but that is a whole other post...
6. Find a group. The Hub and I did a prenatal class (or as they say here antenatal) through an organization called the National Childcare Trust (NCT). It was one of the smartest things we did. There were eight couples in our group and all the babies were born within 2 weeks of each other. These ladies have been my lifeline over the past 10 months - I don't know what I would have done without them. We meet up at least once a week, if not more, and are constantly supporting each other through all our parenting wobbles. They are also all a lot of fun!
7. Do things your way. Every baby is different, and every parent is different. It's hard not to compare yourself with others, but you have to do things the way that feels right to you. You can read and read about the best way to manage whatever issue you're dealing with -- morning sickness, sleep, feeding etc. -- but there's unfortunately no "right" way. I was constantly reading completely conflicting advice. Do the research, but then go with your gut.
8. Sometimes think: "My only job is..." Pregnancy and parenting is overwhelming. So it sometimes helps to forget about the rest of the world and focus on the job at hand. After all, it is a new job, and like any new job, it's exhausting and you need to focus. Especially in the early days of the Little Guy's life, it helped to think: "My only job is feeding this baby." Nothing else mattered at that one moment, and that helped me to cope.
9. Accept help. Especially, in our case, if it comes in the form of your mother offering to come for the birth and stay for two months -- including Christmas! I don't know how we would have survived without her. It allowed us to be human, to shower and eat, and even have people come over to see the new baby and drink prosecco and eat cake with us.
10. Be grateful for the wonderful things at each stage. I feel this will continue to be something to live by. Children are always changing and there are great things -- and of course challenges -- at each stage. There have been many times when I was wishing away some difficult stage, but tried to keep in mind that the magical bits of that stage would disappear as well. So you have to appreciate the new fun things and bear with the challenges. It's just going to be the way.
I'm back at work now, while the Hub runs Daddy Day Care in our home until the Little Guy turns one. So hopefully this means more frequent posts from me again. Congratulations again A and C! Hope something from this post helps you in some way.
6. Find a group. The Hub and I did a prenatal class (or as they say here antenatal) through an organization called the National Childcare Trust (NCT). It was one of the smartest things we did. There were eight couples in our group and all the babies were born within 2 weeks of each other. These ladies have been my lifeline over the past 10 months - I don't know what I would have done without them. We meet up at least once a week, if not more, and are constantly supporting each other through all our parenting wobbles. They are also all a lot of fun!
7. Do things your way. Every baby is different, and every parent is different. It's hard not to compare yourself with others, but you have to do things the way that feels right to you. You can read and read about the best way to manage whatever issue you're dealing with -- morning sickness, sleep, feeding etc. -- but there's unfortunately no "right" way. I was constantly reading completely conflicting advice. Do the research, but then go with your gut.
8. Sometimes think: "My only job is..." Pregnancy and parenting is overwhelming. So it sometimes helps to forget about the rest of the world and focus on the job at hand. After all, it is a new job, and like any new job, it's exhausting and you need to focus. Especially in the early days of the Little Guy's life, it helped to think: "My only job is feeding this baby." Nothing else mattered at that one moment, and that helped me to cope.
9. Accept help. Especially, in our case, if it comes in the form of your mother offering to come for the birth and stay for two months -- including Christmas! I don't know how we would have survived without her. It allowed us to be human, to shower and eat, and even have people come over to see the new baby and drink prosecco and eat cake with us.
10. Be grateful for the wonderful things at each stage. I feel this will continue to be something to live by. Children are always changing and there are great things -- and of course challenges -- at each stage. There have been many times when I was wishing away some difficult stage, but tried to keep in mind that the magical bits of that stage would disappear as well. So you have to appreciate the new fun things and bear with the challenges. It's just going to be the way.
I'm back at work now, while the Hub runs Daddy Day Care in our home until the Little Guy turns one. So hopefully this means more frequent posts from me again. Congratulations again A and C! Hope something from this post helps you in some way.
So good to hear from you in the blogosphere again! Becoming a parent is exciting and challenging and frustrating and boring, sometimes all at the same time. And yes, as much as possible, enjoy the current stage of Baby's development, as much as possible.
ReplyDeleteSo great to hear from you! And what you say is very wise :) Hope you are well!
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