Top Ten Saving Graces From 2020

Happy New Year! I don't think anyone is sad to see 2020 march out of here, and I'm no different, having found it an incredibly challenging year.  

Despite all of our efforts to be grateful for what we do have (and acknowledging that things could certainly be worse), there is a lot of loss and sadness out there - no matter our circumstances - with everyone suffering in their own unique way. 

The two dudes I've been spending my days with.

I've been working on a post about this for a while, but decided that with the year changing to 2021, and this being my first post back in quite some time, I wanted to try to write something more hopeful. Particularly as the U.K. enters its third lockdown. 

Therefore, I'm going to steal an idea from a blogger who wrote a great post on the good things that happened to her in 2020 (it's Kate Hiscox from wearsmymoney, an excellent fashion blog). I thought it would be a really helpful exercise to cast my thoughts back over the year and really think about what was good or just kept me afloat. Because even when there's a pandemic, life happens and we make progress in some way, no matter how it feels at the time. 

So here's my top ten list of saving graces in 2020:

10. Good T.V. Yes, this seems trivial, but it wasn't. The Hub and I had a date nearly every night at 9 p.m. to watch something and eat our dinner. We discussed each show probably too much and I spent a lot of time wondering what I would have done if I was Carmela Soprano. But I felt like these narratives allowed my brain to escape every day from the less exciting narrative of my lockdown life. We watched all of the Sopranos, Ozark, Peaky Blinders, Last Kingdom, the Crown and the Queen's Gambit. We couldn't bear to watch Better Call Saul or Tiger King, even though we tried. Found both too depressing. 

9. Routines. I am a creature of habit and when our world collapsed into a very small one, I clung onto my routines for dear life. Our world got a bit bigger on June 1 when C's nursery opened back up, and the routine began to include nursery drop off and pick up, which was pretty exciting. But even knowing which day I would mop the kitchen floor (while listening to songs from musicals), helped anchor me somehow. 

8. Ready meals. With a toddler around we were not baking sour dough bread (although I still think all this alleged baking was drummed up by journalists trying to find something to write about). We managed to cook for C mostly, but for ourselves it was the local grocery stores providing a lot of our nourishment in the form of ready meals (which I think are actually pretty good in the U.K.). M&S, Sainsbury's, Co-op - I also found a gem in the great frozen food selection from Iceland on one of my many grocery trips out in lockdown. Who knew! It was also the only place in our neighborhood where I could find ketchup.  

7. The summer reprieve. In the U.K. restrictions eased a bit on July 1. The summer is now a very magical time in my memory when we were able to meet up with some friends and even go to restaurants. We spent a week at my Mother-in-law's and opened up the pool that had sat dormant for a long time. We even had the stroke of luck of a heat wave in what is usually a cool summer climate. It was so nice and almost felt like normal life for a bit.   

6. Groups of friends. Friends were a big help last year, but in particular groups of friends. My book clubs, local mom friends, and other small friendship groups (usually accompanied by WhatsApp chatting at all hours of the day and night). I even got to reconnect with my college friends as we did a Friday night virtual happy hour for a while. Although virtual socializing isn't the greatest, it was the best we could do and it helped cheer me up a lot. 

5. My new writing coach. I found a new friend and writing coach last year. As an "obliger" (if you're not aware, check out Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies framework), I need external accountability, and she's helping me make some progress on my personal writing goals. It's a tough time, but life goes on, and hopefully this new partnership will mean inching a little closer to getting more of my writing out in the world. Watch this space. 

4. Family. Not being able to see my family who all live in the U.S. has been one of the hardest parts of the last year. But, they have still been there via the help of technology. Video calling has allowed C to keep developing a relationship with his grandparents and the rest of his American clan. And my mother gets the medal of the year for her virtual babysitting sessions. C calls her "Mama" as he can't say Grandma, and often will demand to "Call Mama" now. And she takes his calls any time. 

3. The kindness of others. The worst of times can really bring out the best in people. I've been touched by the kindness offered to us by so many in 2020. From the big things to the small - like the coffee guy by the train station who listens to me rabbit on after nursery drop off - it is uplifting to experience. 

2. The Hub. Of the two of us, I've found staying home the hardest and he has born the brunt of my anguish. He's stayed steady and supportive of me, dealing with a lot of tough things in his life, while also doing more than his fair share of the housework and the child care. I am so lucky to be locked down with him. 

1. More time with C. Juggling work and child care has not been easy, but we did it, and I think we're all closer because of it. Also, at the age of two, C can basically do a whole load of laundry on his own, even if I have to help him a little with the fabric softener. That would have never happened if life was more normal. 

I hope all of you are hanging in there, that you're staying safe and healthy, and that you also had some good things that happened to you in 2020.